Authors: Alicia R. Ballentyne (XO) / LCdr. Thal Sias (CSO)
Title: none

BALLENTYNE: Ö and that concludes our tour through the lower digestive system and relevant pathologies.

[With that Alicia stepped down from the podium and retracted her steel pointing device. She looked around quite pleased with herself as the fifty or so Medical Cadets left the lecture theatre in silence looking slightly nauseated. Just as she placed her hand on the top of the pointer she realised just how life like holographic modelling was.]

[Having washed her hands suitably and retired to her office Alicia was enjoying a well earned cup of Earl Grey, when the chime sounded.]


FISCHER (NPC): Doctor, here is my assignment.

BALLENTYNE: This is a fortnight late Cadet.

FISCHER: Sorry maíam, my parrot died and I was distraught.

BALLENTYNE: The academy does not permit pets in quarters.

FISCHER: He lived at home.

BALLENTYNE: Your assignment was late a fortnight because your parrot who lives over twenty lightyears away died.

FISCHER: Yes maíam.

BALLENTYNE: [dropping PAAD on desk] I donít quite know what I find more insulting. The fact that you treat my profession with such disrespect or whether itís the fact you treat me like a moron.

[The cadet didnít know what to say.]

BALLENTYNE: [continuing] You are dismissed.

FISCHER: Thankyou maíam.

BALLENTYNE: Donít thank me, you are dismissed from the Academy, you shall receive the relevant paperwork in the morning from your tutor.

[The cadet left the room possibly in tears, Alicia did not have cause to look or care, she picked up the Federation Medical Journal and used the spare moment as an opportunity to catch up on advancements in her field.]

[Professor Thal Sias (LCDR), Acting Director of Astrophysics, stood at the head of the lecture theatre, which currently contain near 140 students. Astrophysics was becoming increasing popular, most importantly because this course was now required for the flight license. However, Sias wondered how many of his students actually understood half of the theretics he spouted off.]

SIAS: [writing on the massive "wipe board" on the wall at the front of the theatre] In conclusion, we should consider the calculation for the energy of the wormhole. As I'm sure you are aware, as I did ask you to read my paper entitled Worm Hole Energy Calculations, we can conclude that sigma-E divided by n(e), all multiplied by w-bar gives us the energy at any point in the wormhole. However, let us consider the First Rule of Inclusive Quantum Singularities which is that all inclusive quantum singularities (despite appearances) occupy two points in space. Therefore, the total energy of the wormhole must equal... anyone?

[There was silence, except for one meager hand rising.]

SIAS: [enthusiastically] Yes?

CADET (NPC): Multiply the equation by two?


[Sias amended the equation on the board.]

SIAS: For next lecture, I want you to consider the applications of this equation on the General Rules of Quantum Mechanics in the wormhole. Thank you for attending. Dismissed.

[Sias packed up his large textbook and notes, and left the lecture theatre, and headed for the instructors common room to get a cup of coffee.]

[It was lunch time, and as such Alicia was nibbling a delightful chicken salad, garnished with a garlic sauce, and sipping a glass of non-alcoholic white wine. She saw Sias come in and simply help himself to coffee.]

BALLENTYNE: Commander, you should not skip lunch, itís bad for your health.

SIAS: So is advanced wormhole theory, but it doesn't mean the cadets don't have to learn it, Doctor

BALLENTYNE: Perhaps I should consult the Commandant about that, the Medical School could do with a new holosuite, the astrophysics budget could probably finance that for the most part.

[Alicia politely smiled at the professor, she had had a boring morning, the digestive system in all itís glory was as dull as its product, perhaps bating a fellow instructor would be suitable entertainment.]

SIAS: Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris, Doctor [smiling back]... Had a good morning [sipping his coffee]

BALLENTYNE: Latin, charming. I hate mornings, and I hate teaching strangely enough, I just seem to do a lot of it.

SIAS: I think my Cadets are scared of me. I'm apparently the only one who finds worm hole theory so exhilarating

BALLENTYNE: I think my Cadets are scared of me. I should watch were I stick my pointing stick.

[Alicia raised her eyebrows and took a sip from her glass.]

SIAS: I've heard rumours about your students and parrots, you know...

BALLENTYNE: Ex students and ex parrots I am afraid.

SIAS: Well.. I've got more teaching this afternoon - practical organic chemistry.. fun as always, you?

BALLENTYNE: I am ingivulating in an examination this afternoon. Then marking an assignment I set my fourth years.

SIAS: I don't mark assignments. I give them the answers and expect them to do it. I mark the final papers of course. They are always an interesting read..

BALLENTYNE: I donít have that luxury, Iím only here temporarily, quite frankly Iím surprised Iím still in StarFleet.

SIAS: I'm technically here temporarily too ... SB98 was apparently no longer in need of my services... so I took an Acting Professorship here.


SIAS: That's my, Doctor. I recognize you of course.. you're a Ballentyne.

BALLENTYNE: [smiling] How did you guess professor?

SIAS: Because you're all the same, lets put it that way. My cousin (I think) was on your last ship.


SIAS: What you be offended if I said that Ballentyne's tend to be slightly.. icy.

BALLENTYNE: Probably, but less so than if you implied that my entire family are all the same. Then again, I consider myself icy professor.

SIAS: And I'm a mad professor. Good mixture, don't you think?

[Aliciaís face lit up as she held her glass just under her mouth, she smiled, exposing her sparkling teeth.]

BALLENTYNE: Do you find me intimidating professor?

SIAS: Commander ... I find no one intimidating. Except my mother. But she has that effect on most people.

BALLENTYNE: Excellent, because I will be your Executive Officer aboard the Lancelot.

SIAS: Pardon?

BALLENTYNE: Lieutenant Commander Thal Sias?

SIAS: Yes ...?

BALLENTYNE: According to the information that has been forwarded to me from Captain DeVries, upon completion of the current Academy term and the Lancelotís return from the boarder territories you are going to be reassigned to Chief Science Officer, and I her Executive Officer, amongst other crew rotations.

[The woman said that in a matter of fact voice, barely pausing for thought or consideration.]

SIAS: Ohh ... good ... I think


USS Lancelot

home page
next page